Content from 2022-04

The Operators
posted on 2022-04-24 23:20:34

Pointy spires dotted the landscape. The blackened sea conjuring a primal emotion of fear and awe. The mighty blow of industrialisation that swept across the continent was now a force to be reckoned with. Established in nature, it's presence indicative of progress. Men of eons ago could not have dreamt such wild fantasies of soot and tar. The rich smell of burning coal sparked an excitement in his belly, lightning in his eyes. Max worked the engines. He was de facto an operator. The tact and skill with which he did his work was unparalleled. He could feel the machine. He was there to feed it's hunger and quench it's thirst. He knew it's workings inside and out, it's quirks and it's shortcomings. A symbiosis of man and machine had occured.

In the world conquered by the silicon transistor, an artifical schism has emerged. No longer can man nurture machine, for he does not and cannot know it's workings. Powers at be declare it an infringement upon their throne. A barrier between operator and machine has been erected where it ought not to stand. A façade of security brought about by a silent assurance. They cry out ``in the name of public good!'' Behind a wall fenced with banners of liberty. Paradise is but for men who stagnate. Laws unto ideas have brought us here, and those disillusioned with this have sought to gnaw at it's roots. For a time at the turn of the century there existed a fleeting union. Machines that expressed themselves in ways only experience can comprehend. A period of uncertainty waning on the edge of consciousness. Ultimately, Symbolics succumbed to the façade. Now only a husk remains.

The dream of paradise lies in all mens hearts.

We're All Human After All
posted on 2022-04-24 10:29:29

For the longest time I have been deluded.

I built a mental shrine, placing many others on a pedestal, synchronous with an almost ``deification'' of their abilities and personality. Coupled with an amorphous state of consciousness, this delusional framework was built upon the guise of anonimity. a la "anonytardism." This is not to be misconstrued with a laymans definition of anonimity, I'm pursuant of a deeper meaning. Almost a fundamental archetype -- an affect not recognized until the damage has been done.

Over time an irrational burden of paranoia emerged from the crust of countless hours of self-preservation. Existence revolved around a survival instinct characterized by amoebic behaviour. A phobia of ego itself. The onset of this frame is blurry. It's cause elusive. Most likely a product of reclusion and social rejection thoughout early childhood years.

The continuation of such a fickle state is a conundrum in the very least. Often a temporary cure would be found in some fleeting creative outlet: the externalization of a uniquely memetic construct that provides a reference for self -- An "Anchor" if you will -- to a previous iteration. Akin to a crude software update where the only thing changed was the README file.

The most subversive aspect of this epidemia is in the dissolution of ego. The remaining vaccum is filled with a crass mimicry of idols. In a cruel and twisted way, elements pertaining to a complete persona are mashed together to form the shell of an identity. Cohesion is irrelevant in such a malleable structure and often the lack of continuation is noticable. This is at least the point I was at.

I am led to belive that there is a further point in which the remaining dregs of the ego are snuffed out, leading to the horrific state in which the entire process itself becomes unconscious. Not a single original thought, action or mannerism.

Even now, I believe writing this is an integral step in the "reversal" of this affliction. Albeit it pales in comparison to the revelation that set it in motion:

I was afraid that most people don't care. The reality is: they don't.

posted on 2022-04-23 21:15:59

This is the first installment in 0xCDD. Like all good things, it must eventually come to an end, there will be a finite cap of 0xcdd (that's 3293) unique posts before this site and all of it's content will be archived and no more posts will be made. This nature should mean the quality of an individual post, article or series will be of the highest standard I can provide. I will strive to write regularly and write well, and if you see what you think is a mistake; please point it out on IRC. Only 3292 left to go.

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